Sickened.

I’m tired of being bound to you
Depleted, mistreated
Defeated, misunderstood
Do you even care that I exist
I’m sickened, quite literally
By the ways you so consciously
Choose to treat me, repeatedly
Regardless of how many times and ways
I address and exert
And beg and scream and say
That I need different, you just divert
Deflect, manipulate the variables
That’s what data scientists do, right?
Gaslight
Neglect and then pretend you’re victimized
You thrive
On painting me a villain
You could never exist the way you do
If I’d be in my full power
So you relish in how hard I go for you
Then silently triumph as I drown
In the puddle of tears
Cried over hurt
And trauma
Triggers and dirt
You know it all
The darkest and the worst
Yet you don’t lift a finger
Watch as I slowly disfigure
Into half the shade of my own shadow
You planted the hate and then let me grow
A sprout of evil
From your hand
How I wish I could
Dismember
How I wish I would
Only remember
A life before you took mine
Step back before I cross that line

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