I am beyond saddened
about what I could have
not could have had
could still have
yet can’t
because allowing myself
would destroy so many
lives that have come
to be connected
dependently
with mine

all my wishes
mean nothing
empty phonetics
lacking semantic value
eternally revolving
around you
against my will
involuntary orbit

who says the moon
pulls on the waves
who is to say
if it isn’t the water
holding her on a leash
lapping devotedly
to keep up
with your
bewildered tides