Brown Angel

Brown walking angel
Your hairs are your wings
You stumble yet always arrive
Around my shoulders
You’re wrapped
In my heart you thrive
I like to capture
You in my hands like fireflies
Glowing while fluttering
I’ll never reveal your disguise
Our tiny secret
Like our kisses
Under velvet night skies
Sparkling with hope
Bourbon glistening angel
With your wings draped and dark
You came down from heaven
Yet you shine like above the stars

Galaxy.

I am where your dark side meets your real heart

In me you find your counterpart

I will be the safety where you can rest your self and soul

With me the universe on your skin will come whole

Drip no longer blood but galaxy

I see you for all that your essence is

Engage your light and dive into love with me

Luck will have us blessed for all of this

Love, kindness and maybe art

I will sleep when I need to
Leave me alone
With your structure and standards
With your routines and rules
System this, regulation that
I will live as my
Body, mind and spirit
Feel adequate so
I live to heal and grow
Feed my soul
Nothing of this world constructed
By mankind other than kindness
Love and maybe art

Are in which I’d want to take part
Or enclose in my heart
Leave me out of your
Over socialized society
With only lonely people
Attached to detachment
Plus vice versa
Pretending, lying, masks on, dying
Always crying
Never showing
Always trying
Never knowing
The only life I’m in
Is of learning and growing
Not surviving ongoing
For flying and soaring
Leave me out of your life
Of grids and boxes
Of lines
I want shapes and colors
Unnaturally
Inexplicable
And unpredictable
Keep the organized
The crime and cruelty
The steps and plans and forms
The maps, the can’ts and won’ts
I will not ever participate to conform
Bury me wherever you need to
My being will burn either way
My scars will guide
Towards a brighter day
For anyone who agrees
I dedicated my release
Freedom is all I’ll ever be
A life of how I am free
All I’ll ever have
Want and need nothing else from me

Ours


I don’t think I’ll ever stop writing about long distance relationships, until I’m finally released from one. Love crosses borders like the wind, with ease and we allow it to sway us away, as we please. Many might not last but when they do, it’s as romantic and exhilarating as it is terrorizing, terrifying and destructive. Because all that you feel won’t ever fade away as long as you know it’s true. Maintaining equal amounts of love, trust, respect and communication is essential and impossible in the same extent.

We grew closer than I’ve ever been to any other soul, than I’ve ever allowed another near my core of cores. I’ve caught myself underestimating the true essence of this power we both share. So pure a love that it makes the universe stop and stare. In the eventual awareness of this, I know you are made of the same fire as I. We burst from the same flame and traveled around the globe through epic places and times until our hearts met again in the most twisted circumstances. Only to realize, this was all for us, ours, all along.

Liquid Love

Love is what it looks like to look at you
My pride I feel is proof enough
Of how pure and precious you are
Which somehow I always was aware of
When my eyes locked the first time
There was no other thought roaming
Than a desire to get to know you
As I saw you I stay ever since in awe
And each day as I grow closer
To understanding your beauty
I sink deeper in a delicate embrace
A liquid love that coats me in thick coverage
All around, soaked through and through
Like ink in my skin, no washing away

Caught on my retina one day
You stayed on my mind
As we connected at first sight
You latched on to my soul easily
Seeping your way into my heart
Daily devouring me with care
On emotion, in spirit, physically
With your love so empowering
How it overwhelms me full of wonder
There’s no will for me to control
Any of myself anymore
All for you it will always be
I don’t remember from before
Who I was prior to you loving me

Be cliché because be yourself!

be-cliché-because-be-yourself
She wants to experience all the lives of all the others. She joins in on their hysterical crazes and tries to blend her mind with their outrageous ideas. She does the research to make sure she understands them and can keep up. She sometimes dives in too deep, and what for others was casual leisure, becomes now an obsession for her. That’s when she moves on to another group. One where she can fit more of herself in, one where she feels more parts of her reflected and understood.

I wish someone would tell her, it’s not necessary at all, what you are doing. You don’t have to conform to be able to be liked. You don’t have to try so hard to be still so unheard. You don’t have to sell your soul to open up your heart. You don’t have to be liked to be loved by people who matter. And what would you rather be, liked or loved? Disposable or invaluable?

The most important thing is to be aware of yourself and what you have to offer them. Don’t downplay yourself, be real and be honest. What do you see reflected in people’s faces when you’re with them? What compliments do they give that you got so accustomed to nonchalantly brush off? What do you like most about others? Chances are, that’s what you like most about yourself, only you have trouble seeing it in yourself, so you seek the reflection of it in others.

Go and experience your own life. Explore your own desires and weave your own dreams. Follow them, or write about them, paint them or just tell them to others. Inspire and have hope. Always have hope. Love and despair from time to time, but not all the time (no, not even love). Create and let loose. Suffocate yourself in breathing new things and drown yourself by swimming new depths. Be proud, be silly, be passionate, be noisy and obnoxious, be humble and forgiving. Be thankful and be aware. Be cliché because be yourself!

Cover of Love

We are attached
I can’t undo it
When intimacy latched on
Our flesh melted
Like gold upon gold
We grew purer
But corrupted each other
And when times arrive
That I want to peel you off my skin
I realize within seconds
How deeply you are rooted underneath
I’d rip my own heart out
If I were to return yours
Some parts of us are fused
Some remain autonomous
But in order for me to ever
Remove you from my system
I have to undo and break
Pieces of myself
That I have become to rely on
You grew on me
Like scar tissue
A mutilated cover of love
On open wounds
I didn’t close soon enough

Now I will

My heart is too widely open
I could be crouched down with a blade pressed to my skin
But if someone would then and there need me, I’d forget all the hate and hurt, just for them, temporarily
To have it waiting for me when I return to myself

I will still, help, love, care
Even if I can’t do any of those for myself
My heart is too widely open
But the love flows one way
Because I don’t know how to receive
I’m not blaming anyone else
It’s not self pity either

Just a reality I either have to get used to
Or find a way to change
But what makes me think, that after 15 years of trying
Now I will succeed?

Confirmation or Confrontation ?

It’s easy to look away and drown yourself in distractions.
Why not for once be courageous and face the confrontations,
regardless of their outcome

What’s the worst that could happen ?

You hurt, you learn.
You suffer, you grow.
You break, you heal.
You die, you won’t be alive to remember it anyway.

So what’s the big deal ?

Go on and dive right in, head first, your heart will follow. Your soul is immortal but your body wil decay anyway. Might as well take that chance.

It could lead to self destruct, tough luck. There’s not much you can’t recover from, all your past struggles bringing you right here are already proof of your strength.

It could also lead to a plentiful blossoming of your self, your awareness, your power of happiness. There’s so much more to gain if you’re just willing to give it a try.

Losses are part of life, standing still is part of death.

Your choice. Confirmation or confrontation ?