Hello weakness and neglect
Your name is not love anymore
You’ve chosen ego over us
Nothing matters but your pride
Every try you will reject
No issue is ever resolved
Hello weakness and neglect
My every gesture you ignore
I’ve chosen now to give up
All importance you let slide
Never did you self reflect
None of us was involved
Hello weakness and neglect
Our memories won’t restore
We’ve chosen to kill our love
Both of us are broken inside
Neither of us we could protect
Which self has evolved?
The Heart
– heartfelt poetry
The Oceans That I Drown Myself In
I’m filled with tears
That I cannot cry
Despite the oceans
That I drown myself in
Of fear and sadness
That I already shed
I feel more powerful
In my powerlessness
Than I feel in power
I feel more hopeful
In my hopelessness
Than I feel in hope
I’m full of frustration
That I cannot scream
Forsaken the will
That I had to try
Over my voice
That I lost in vain
I feel less strong
In my strength
Than I feel in my stride
I feel less proud
In my perseverance
Than I feel in my pride
Unconditionally Broken Hearted
I loved you through all your fakeness
Your lies, your betrayal
I should’ve ended it there
Cause those were all signs
You don’t know what real is
You could never handle my darkness
My pain, my sorrow
I should’ve never believed
The promises you never kept
Because you don’t know what love is
Unconditionally broken hearted
How you left me thinking it was my fault
The hurt inflicted on me
Was never my wrong
How you manipulated every situation
To clear yourself from blame
I should’ve never been this strong
As your weakness proved
You never knew what you claimed
To love me, you only pretended
To know how, but you never knew why
Anew
By the time the flowers
You send to me endearingly
Had withered to hang their heads
Our love had unbloomed
A sudden unpeaceful death
It came crawling through the night
Filling my sleep with terror
To manifest in my awakening
Coming through me like
Tsunami waves caving in
I pray for a surge
To raise me from the water
Seek within myself the power
So I don’t drown my love
Before saving ours
If hope ever let’s me breathe again
It will only mean to be
That I have overcome
Pride and ego through forgiving
Anew will colors blossom
Villain
I’ve hurt you so badly
I don’t even want to say sorry
Because no amount of remorse
Could ever undo the hurt
Damages done
Don’t have a press rewind button
I feel so abandoned
Overlooked
Whatever I did wrong
Didn’t come from me
Violated and abused
Nobody cares for the villain
Because once I unleash my fire
I’m not worth humanity anymore
Would be better if I cease to exist
Because there’s no way to get this fixed
Breaker of all my hearts
Breaker of all my hearts
You forced me to live in confinements of hurt
You suffocated me in stress and drowned me in my own depression
You strangled me with anxiety and throttled me with insecurity
You cut my skin with neglect and abandonment
You never understood me and you never cared to try
You’ll never understand me and I’ll never know why
You pretended to love me
While you intended to kill me
By giving me all of you
Building me up with all you have
Letting me shine with light I borrowed from you
But it was never mine to have
I belong to the darkness
And you could never respect that
So you decided to break off every piece of what you gave me
Until bit by bit I crumbled back to nothingness
Hoping I would mean less to you
Expecting me to choke in my own worthlessness
Now here we are, it’s all over, there’s nothing left
How does it feel? Are you satisfied? Can we be done now? Done with the hurt and the anger, the unforgiving misunderstanding, the unwillingness, the pride and ego…you broke me to build yourself, because you were afraid I’d break you like I broke myself. Because you think I’m stronger than you. That’s why you don’t love me, truly. You fear me.
Come.
I miss you profoundly
Endless supply of electrified embraces
Infinite flow of sensational kisses
Warm sweetness soothing my skin
My lips & my taste buds
My hearing, my vision
My unquenchable thirst to feel you within
It’s been too long
I’m astounded in hindsight
To how we could let distance
Come in between once more
I crave you unbearably
Thoughts of how long still to wait
Memories of graphic passionate love we made
Exceeding the laws of attraction
Surpassing the surplus
Delicately savoring
Transcending satisfaction
With ease defying any concepts of perfection
This shall when we
Liberate from separation
Adorn the beauty of this romance
Come together will we only more
The Edge
Every other day is like a journey
To the end of the world for me
Standing there, on the edge of darkness
I wonder if it’s worth the fight
The constant struggle to exist
Never will my days begin or end bright and shiny
Sunshine is nothing but a covering shadow
Which haunts me, taunting me
With interrogation on my incompetence
It shows the weak side of me
Forces me to protect my illness with a mask
Because without the scars, I am no one
And only in the lightlessness I grow
That’s why I flee this world of chaos
In any chance I get
I am not dead, or alive either
An unliving undead is my defining essence
The edge is where I prefer to reside
Rainbow Dreams
I lived within a dream
Many shadows had been cast on me
Some from eye lids falling shut
Some from clouds that fogged the sky
I woke up in the dust
A mist so unsettling I could not rest
Every where it bit my skin
Every time I let it become
Until the clock got turned around
Just in my mind I saw the thought
A vision came clear as lashes did fall
A stroke of air touched what was never to recall
I grabbed on hold and flew along
All the way to the morning sun
Over hills of ice and sighs
Condensation behind my eyes
I rested when the awaited return
Of saddened goodbyes was spoken and learned
The reason to swim within a rainbow
Remains in a multitude of uncoming tomorrows
Wild Flowers
Am I not to breathe your beauty ?
Blessed by the summer breeze
Your warm sigh whispers upon me
Is it sustenance or punishment ?
To baptize myself ignorant
In devotion dipped in patience
Like wild flowers bloom from freedom
The captivity that caught me on
Is undoing my becoming
I won’t falter but I will fall
Hurt, break & suffer
Most of all
I won’t recognize myself
Failure shames all that is left
As I lose what I thought to have
Truth Beyond Mystery 