Shadow

Why are you in my heart?
Get out..
You have no right being there!
It’s not where you belong at all

I don’t even know who you are
You’re like a faint and distant memory
A vague shadow swimming through my blood
The scent of something I already forgot

And you won’t let me in either
Because if I can’t get you out
I want to know your story
But you refuse to respond

Everytime I see your face
You remind me of this feeling
So remote and irrelevant
Still so apparant and appealing

I want to know you
Or I want you gone
Looking for signals
That are missing

I need to run from this
Knowing either way you’ll follow
And since I can’t hide in your chest
I don’t want to know where I’m going

Someday I hope you’ll release me
And show me who you really are
Cause being in love with a total stranger
Is the scariest thing ever so far

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Collisions & Pragmatism

What is it that makes people collide?
What makes it that person X, falls for person Y, and not for person Z?

This isn’t about logic, mathematics or statistics for that matter.
This is about chemistry. Not the scientific kind, but the attracting/appealing kind of chemistry. The kind that brings us to passion, lust, love and all other claimed emotions.

Of course there’s the scientific explanation, to why people come to interact in a certain way with specific other people.
The Darwinistic evolutionary view, about ‘fittest reproduction partners’ and feromones and genetic variation and so on.

But that dear theory does not give us (or me!) a reasonable motivation to why so many people fall for the WRONG person.

The thought that everything has to have reasonable ground, just doesn’t do it, when it comes to interpersonal relationships. They rarely make sense at all, let alone are reasonable in any way or kind.
The neediness for this constant fallback on act-react, give-take, cost-profit, economic balance of usefulness.. is called pragmatism. The thought that everything has to be useful in some sense, or else it might not even exist..!

Luckily for love, it is and can not be bound by any laws or structures, perfectly flawed as it is. Therefore this pragmatism does not apply. Love does not serve any external goal, it doesn’t have to be useful, it does not need any reason or ground to exist. Its only goal, usefulness, reason or ground is itself, intrinsically.

But love does not always draw the lines in the social grid of human intersections. So what is it really, that makes us connect to certain people, rather than to various fit others?
Are these people experiences we have to evolve through, life lessons haunting to be learned, post-traumatic stress therapy maybe?
Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure it’s more than just DNA & genes trying to survive and multiply themselves, regardless of and through us..

Pragmatism itself is pragmatic, and not in a pleonastic sense. It can be useful, but is not necessarily the only or right way to see or do things.

My thought of the day:

The most useful (pragmatic) thing isn’t always the best or most righteous. Because the best & most righteous things in life are not useful at all. They just fill the soul with a glow.

Therefore, it’s probably right to say, there is no reason to why.. ever! Any question that starts with WHY, can be answered by the recollection that there is no answer at all..