The danger of a lone being.

The scariest part of being alone is not the loneliness

The scariest part of being alone is not the loneliness.

It’s the forceful necessity to have only yourself to count on and deal with, in every situation, through every cognition and emotion, during every smile or teardrop, and every breath that falls too heavily.

While part of you suffers from urges to end all existence & an equally desperate part is looking anxiously to find purpose, still. Those being only two minor examples of the thousands and thousands of scattered pieces of self that constantly reflect and contradict one another.

It’s easy to get lost inside the mazes of your own heart and mind intertwined, when your soul feels trapped and the only way out is out of or through yourself. But what if there’s nothing, no one, outside of yourself to reach out to? Nobody you can truly trust, nobody to have meaningful interaction, nobody to share or exchange ideas and thoughts with, nobody to empathize or care with you.

I don’t claim to need anyone, but I don’t believe any person is capable of carrying their entire life by themselves one hundred percent of the time.
Of course, essentially, in all beginning and ending as well as most of the time in between, we are just ourselves by ourselves. But what becomes of this self, if it is only that connection you have… for days, becoming weeks, turning into months, building up to years. How does one grow out of themselves if all they have as reference, is their self, their own, alone, always…?

How dangerous can you become, by yourself, before interference becomes obvious? Who is to draw the line, but yourself, turning the whole thing into pure rhetorical irony?

To take it a little further, because why not? Or actually, because why not.
Who will then, when the line is drawn and interference becomes inevitable, be the one to step in between and flip the switch? Which switch would flipping become to have the mostly preferred result? What is this result supposed to be looking alike?

Who decides all this, or anything, the self that chose to become dangerous just because its possibility was an endless option, or the one who found cautiousness significant enough to inquire for change, or any of the other infinite varieties of self that have potential to be puzzled together from all the scattered pieces alone?

The Moon

The moon is swimming along with the stars in a deep blue sea of sky. The moon smiles at me in a transcendant glow, knowing I see him through my window. The moon is proud to be the brightest to shine.

I can’t help but notice him, he challenges me, to come out and play with him. He knows I can’t swim with him, in the sea so high up there, still he keeps calling.

The moon is playing with the waves of air, dancing around him, splashing in his face..
The moon swims back to the surface, each time a wave clouds him, showing me time and time again that he’s still there for me..
The moon doesn’t see the clouds thickening, he doesn’t see the danger approaching..

They spread quickly, flooding over him, like a soft but fatal blanket. He doesn’t stand a chance. Wave after wave the clouds get to him, pushing him further away.
Once in a while I see his face, popping up at the surface, trying to regain strength. I believe that when he sees me, he will know what to fight for and not give up easily.
Then the clouds get heavier, I don’t even see his shine anymore. I feel so helpless, pray that he will survive.

Then, after a few minutes staring at the dark blue softness of the sea of clouds, seemingly innocent but cold and destructive as a thunderstorm, I see a slight shimmer in between the waves.
There is a radiant circular glow growing from beyond the surface. He has come back to show me, nothing can take his shine away.

The moon rises from within the darkest cloud, pushes it away, to show me the brightest smile on his face.
One with pride and confidence, fierce to proof once again how strong beauty in essence can truly be.

.the darkside of the sun.

what do you know about
the dark side of the sun
hidden beneath a heat of clouds
I promise you that no one
has ever been there or seen that
too hard, too hot, too far, too bad
you wouldn’t even think to care to know
because you will never be able to go
don’t think you should or would even want
but I know you’re challenged by
the fact that it has never been done
but the further you try to fly
the deeper you allow yourself to fall
no reasons for how or why
cause don’t we all
just love the thought of danger
the risk of meeting a stranger
but of course to never trust
cause we’re just addicted to the rush
and all that could happen
what should not but probably will
how much we let in
and enjoy the pieces of ourselves to spill
to never recollect
never care what’s next
and never come back to it
never let show
our purest or truest
it’s a waste, a shame
worth for nothing to know
but still we are the same
and you do it just like me
innocent covers to blow
will it ever change?
unlikely
cause those sad games
give breathing flavor
and only to win time
we do each other a favor
pretending to seek
never caring to find
until that darkside meets
and we roll back into our minds
then it’s history within a week
those memories never to repeat
happy we will never become
not like this
but why care over the outcome
when the real bliss
of these rays of sun
always overshine the dark side
why care what’s on the inside
if we keep it on the surface
nothing can ever hurt us