What would you do if you came to the knowledge that your partner, or someone close to you, actively participated in someone else’s sexual abuse, assault or intimidation? Would you still be able to look at them the same, love them the same, feel the same for them? Would you protect (possibly enable) them and keep them around, or take a stand for the sake of humanity and eliminate them from your life?
With so many of the victims coming forward. Encouraged. Inspired. Empowered. So many still covered in the shadows of hurt and shame. Will we not forget to look for the attackers, the assaulters, the predators. Don’t kid yourself. They are all around us. They are your brothers and fathers and uncles and sons. Let’s not pretend it isn’t women too, so look at your sisters, mothers, aunts and daughters. Your cousins, neighbors, friends and partners. In all reality, the high percentage of victims indicates a high percentage of perpetrators. So be sure to take a good look around you, even your most inner circle, and don’t forget yourself…
…and, ask yourself. When you know, will you be idle? Could you forgive yourself, like you’d forgive them, passively?
She wants to experience all the lives of all the others. She joins in on their hysterical crazes and tries to blend her mind with their outrageous ideas. She does the research to make sure she understands them and can keep up. She sometimes dives in too deep, and what for others was casual leisure, becomes now an obsession for her. That’s when she moves on to another group. One where she can fit more of herself in, one where she feels more parts of her reflected and understood.
I wish someone would tell her, it’s not necessary at all, what you are doing. You don’t have to conform to be able to be liked. You don’t have to try so hard to be still so unheard. You don’t have to sell your soul to open up your heart. You don’t have to be liked to be loved by people who matter. And what would you rather be, liked or loved? Disposable or invaluable?
The most important thing is to be aware of yourself and what you have to offer them. Don’t downplay yourself, be real and be honest. What do you see reflected in people’s faces when you’re with them? What compliments do they give that you got so accustomed to nonchalantly brush off? What do you like most about others? Chances are, that’s what you like most about yourself, only you have trouble seeing it in yourself, so you seek the reflection of it in others.
Go and experience your own life. Explore your own desires and weave your own dreams. Follow them, or write about them, paint them or just tell them to others. Inspire and have hope. Always have hope. Love and despair from time to time, but not all the time (no, not even love). Create and let loose. Suffocate yourself in breathing new things and drown yourself by swimming new depths. Be proud, be silly, be passionate, be noisy and obnoxious, be humble and forgiving. Be thankful and be aware. Be cliché because be yourself!