I am beyond saddened
about what I could have
not could have had
could still have
yet can’t
because allowing myself
would destroy so many
lives that have come
to be connected
dependently
with mine
all my wishes
mean nothing
empty phonetics
lacking semantic value
eternally revolving
around you
against my will
involuntary orbit
who says the moon
pulls on the waves
who is to say
if it isn’t the water
holding her on a leash
lapping devotedly
to keep up
with your
bewildered tides
All she wanted was a hug
A kiss, a warm consoling hand
On any part of her skin
When she told you she longs to no longer live
All she wanted was a few seconds of your time
Not hours, like you assumed
And yes you gave hours of your day to her
Spending time together, having fun
Watching videos, cuddling on the couch
But in this moment
She lost all of herself like the fleeting reflection of a moons full cycle into the new
She knew it would return, but right now there was nothing
Not even a speck of light
And all
She needed was a hug, a kiss
A warm consoling hand
On any part of her skin
But you said you had to work
You don’t have time for this right now
She asked you if she could die
You said no, but you showed her yes
By dismissing her pain, dismissing her clear call for your positive attention
You had to work cause your deadline wouldn’t wait
Wasting all week for the last moment to never make it in time to keep your promises anyway
Maybe she’ll jump your dead line some day
That used to be a life line but you pulled it away.
I am where your dark side meets your real heart
In me you find your counterpart
I will be the safety where you can rest your self and soul
With me the universe on your skin will come whole
Drip no longer blood but galaxy
I see you for all that your essence is
Engage your light and dive into love with me
Luck will have us blessed for all of this
I sleep in the shadow of my tears
Painted by the moon on my eyelids
Carved by the rising sun on my cheeks
Dried and hardened to stone threads
Of solemn sorrow and sadness
Grown attached to my skin like scars
Like the ripened wounds on my wrist
From over the years
You were once not like this
I was once stronger
Your kindness withered like my trust
My faith decayed by your indifference
full moon is on the rise
but the vessel it’s to fill
has run empty
nothing remains or
is left to reach out for
all the things I dreamt to be
every aching part of me
is dripping down a drain
pulsing from a vein
lost in a bottomless hole
who knows where it leads to
or where it goes
once it escapes the bubble of light
the blackness of a hurting heart
left in solitude to overanalyse
it only just might
live and stand high
or die and fall apart
by the touch of who once owned it
then turned away and stoned it
wounds might heal
time may resolve
but scars don’t disappear
moments like these take their toll
like a glass shattered on the floor
glue it back together
and all you’ll see is cracks
crumble up a paper
can you ever again get it flat
without the lines showing through?
luckily I’m a diamond
if only in the rough
my sharp edges define me
to protect me against what’s tough
you couldn’t break or nevermind me
but you can lock me up
although a golden cage will never outshine me
sometimes it’s better to have enough
than to lose to love
Emphasize what’s meaningless
Regret everything that’s not
Amplify all reason less
There is more that we don’t got
Deny every form of structure
Embrace chaos with all due devotion
Cherish what comes in the future
Time has only one direction for motion
Forgive the ignorant
For they don’t know why you should
Release all sensation
Perception is more idealistic than good
Promise what you forgot
Someone might come back for it
Respond to lust with pride,
to love with innocence
Have faith and believe
Trust hatred to leave
Such as every other emotion
No one controls any of them
We lock them away to be safe
Like an enraged lion in a cage
It has no use to us
To doubt everything we lose
Our voices don’t echo when they scream
Our breath never lasts longer than a minute
To await signals like a prophecy
Is like expecting the moon to come closer
It’s only fading further
Pulling loose for freedom
At night she takes flight
Across the skies so bright
Lit up by the moon’s shine
Neither yours, never mine
In silver air she flows
Along locked windows
Deep in the dark she goes
Unaware of her foes
She prays for the sun’s fire
But careful to not get killed
By her heart’s desire
That with disease is filled
And the dangers that lure
In this nocturnal weather
Her soft wings flap pure
They strike light like a feather
But strong like a chain
As long as she can remain
She will rise between the shadows
And sleep in innocent meadows
When the dew has dried
And the roosters have cried
She’s off to her daily sleep
Lost in dreams she wills to keep
The moon is swimming along with the stars in a deep blue sea of sky. The moon smiles at me in a transcendant glow, knowing I see him through my window. The moon is proud to be the brightest to shine.
I can’t help but notice him, he challenges me, to come out and play with him. He knows I can’t swim with him, in the sea so high up there, still he keeps calling.
The moon is playing with the waves of air, dancing around him, splashing in his face..
The moon swims back to the surface, each time a wave clouds him, showing me time and time again that he’s still there for me..
The moon doesn’t see the clouds thickening, he doesn’t see the danger approaching..
They spread quickly, flooding over him, like a soft but fatal blanket. He doesn’t stand a chance. Wave after wave the clouds get to him, pushing him further away.
Once in a while I see his face, popping up at the surface, trying to regain strength. I believe that when he sees me, he will know what to fight for and not give up easily.
Then the clouds get heavier, I don’t even see his shine anymore. I feel so helpless, pray that he will survive.
Then, after a few minutes staring at the dark blue softness of the sea of clouds, seemingly innocent but cold and destructive as a thunderstorm, I see a slight shimmer in between the waves.
There is a radiant circular glow growing from beyond the surface. He has come back to show me, nothing can take his shine away.
The moon rises from within the darkest cloud, pushes it away, to show me the brightest smile on his face.
One with pride and confidence, fierce to proof once again how strong beauty in essence can truly be.
Truth Beyond Mystery 