memories no longer matter
everything i now do
is only for the better
with or without you
i no longer care
or wait to expect for
you to be there
i’m looking for more
than you could ever give
i have more of me
than you allow me to live
we will never be
like we never really were
i’m over us
done with who you are
so obvious
manipulating me into
guilt and insecurity
this love wasn’t true
nothing like trust or purity
and now you’re losing
i’m taking back control
i’m not for your amusement
in my fate lays a greater role
poetry
Forward.
i’m rising to the sky
blending with the blue
levitating up high
not ever thinking of you
cause you don’t exist
in the way i thought you would
no more temptation to resist
no longer caring for the good
just try to hold my own
any and only way i know how
is by dealing with it alone
there’s no space for you now
i’m letting go all anger and hate
and everything that used to hurt
for turning back time it’s too late
and above all it’s not even worth
the trouble and the endless energy
got other things to focus on
things that stimulate and benefit me
get me forward to what i want
seeking and striving for growth
cut loose all strings that hold me back
better and easier for us both
nothing will throw me again off track
Blind
Don’t take me for a challenge.. You can never win..
Because it’s not a game
When the time comes, that you realize this..
Tell me the same
Convince me it’s true
Cause I can’t seperate manipulation from you
You’re intentions never shine through
Can’t trust, can’t drop my guard
The walls cover all except my eyes
So whatever it is you’re lookin for
Whatever lays behind this disguise
That is where you’ll find
That is where you can make me blind
And if you have to take control
Do it first before the fall
.daydreams & nightmares.
Eyes filled with rays of sunlight
I dream away about illusions of love
The promise of nomore violent fights
Impossible to get in reach of
Believing makes the mind grow
To immeasurable proportions
What you see, and want, and know
Can cause for internal distortion
The thing I’m searching for
Unwillingly but still sure
Does not exist
Like the care, I thought to share
Or see in your eyes before
It’s an unclear mist
That covers the senses
Like living in daydreams
When the mind comprehenses
That nothing is what it seems
But the heart has hope
And is easy to influence
No matter how thin the rope
Love lets you hang on your essence
Making you believe you can cope
Pushing you out of balance
And when you fall
You never hit ground
You never recall
Why you were up there at all
And in every thing you do
You get flushed by flashbacks
Of a past full of scratches and cracks
Yet never the less
You never surpress
Any of those nightmares
They control your ego
The reason for all your cares
Your worries so lethal
I never believed in love
Until i fell for its lies
Together with all the above
Plus some heartpain and cries
Nights when sleeping is irrelevant
Begin and end with these
Daydreams and nightmares so innocent
But they slaughter every piece
Of ignorance
And inner peace
Love is overrated..
Love is overrated
It does not solve everything
It destroys more than its made of
Like breaking after entering
Burn the building to the ground
Swallow the ashes and choke on it
Learn to let go what doesn’t count
Forget the sacrifices you both offered
Memories, both good and bad
Mean less than nothing
And should be forgotten
No loss of pride in feeling sad
Our cries hide behind raindrops
And tears will dry by sunshine
Breathe on until the pain stops
And keep your heart close to your mind
Leave the past for the history books
Grow towards a future that you decide today
Don’t worry about the time and difficulty it took
Focus on your own power and walk away
Because love may come
But don’t let it change you
It should’nt control your person
Or what you go and went through
And then love may go
But remember to know
That everything happens
Exactly as it has to
There are no reasons or patterns
So start every day as new
And remind yourself to remember
That coincidence doesn’t exist
There is no more to it
Than what it really is
Don’t fear for jealousy or hatred
The worst things are often also the greatest
Don’t try to make unworthy feelings sacred
Cause truth is, love is overrated ; )
Heartless
Keep myself on a level
To where no man can travel
No one would be able
To handle what I have
No matter how calm or stable
They’ll only get through half
The other part stays on lock
Cause I don’t need to get stuck
In some other person’s life again
Got myself to live with
And that’s already more than
I can handle or care for
Don’t feel the need to share more
Cause it doesn’t bring me nothing new or good
Knowing better is what I always do or should
And if somehow I fall
In love or in darkness
I’ll get up with no help at all
Because I’d rather be heartless
Just to make sure I get scarred less
Ready
Time for a fresh start
A new view
Roads less hard
To follow or pursue
You can travel a milion miles
Only to find nothing more
Than what has been here all the while
Just waiting in front of your door
Sometimes the little things we see every day
And don’t notice as special or outstanding
Are the things that can take our breath away
Even beyond our wildest wishes and understanding
Train me, tame me, tie me down
Teach me to love and cherish
Without a fear or frown
I don’t care to drown
Cause I’ve been to the bottom
And swam back to the top again
So I’m ready to become
Someone who dares and can
Newsflash
lovely ugly rain, straining down my window pane
you aim to see me drain, or drown
but I can see the flames, go down
and in my brain I remain, static
I don’t fear the pain, so dramatic
you can tear in vain, I won’t panic
cause I am way to sane, and dynamic
you don’t know what it looks like, or ought to
I have nothing to prove right, so I forgot you
and all your no use fights
you thought you thought through
you know it’s not who
starts or ends
or is heartless within
the farther you went
the more you would lose
and the part that you win
is the force of abuse
the margin of sin
you pour, I refuse
stop acting so clueless
I’ve recovered from my bruises
and you can’t make me move less
guess you didn’t see my newsflash
I’m only doing what I do best : )
Broken Core
Filled with flames of anger
Agressively aggitated and furious
A heart so hurt it lost purpose
A soul so scarred and tangled
It’s now unrecognisable
Though aware the disguise would once fall
We kept on pretending to try
You continuously neglecting my cries
I constantly defending your lies
But what does one do when..
Your worst enemy is the one you are
What is there to know when..
Your own mind speaks nothing but hatred
Where can one go when..
Your own hands tore up the road that you follow
Where is one to hide when..
Your own feet crushed the roof above you
When you have no one…
to trust or believe in?
When even your own self…
is out to take you down?
How do you manage?
To what can one hold on?
I was taught to trust in love
But sadly enough
Just the wrong sort of
The love I clung to
Was a selfish prideful shimmer
Merely an image
Of what I wanted so badly to have
No reality, no truth at all
Just the wish telling the tale
A broken core to follow the fall
But something’s leaking from the cracks
Flowing fastly, building up in stacks
It’s a sweet fluid
Soft and thick and dark
It has a taste of home in it
Like hitting something sharp
It tells me where to go now
It tells me not to stop
Leave behind all the baggage I’ve been carrying
And get ahead with what I’ve got
Even if it’s not much
Nothing more than my body, mind and soul
Had to leave my heart behind
It was too heavy and my bag was full
Salt
It burns in my chest
I don’t know how to cry anymore
Or how to feel what I felt last
I’ve lost love before
But I never feared I’d miss violence
Cause that’s what you imply
You have a side so evil
And I’m not exactly in my right mind
Together we’re more than lethal
But it’s the only real thing
That I’ve ever known
I can’t express in words
How this hurt feels
How I hate that I could not defend
Myself again
Against your angry hands
Not because I don’t love myself
But because you are stronger always
I wish I could have done something
To not let my weakness win
But fighting you is a sign
Of being suicidal
And I want to live now more than ever
Because you took my freedom
And my safety and my trust and all I had
You tore it apart
Because in your thoughts
I don’t deserve to have anything
On purpose you cursed me
With what you call love and so on
You wouldn’t leave or let me run
Forcing me to swallow your hatred
And take from me what’s sacred
My innocense and pride
Glad to say I’m still alive
You couldn’t take from me
What you want and miss now so bad
>My love, my heart you’ll never have
And I will haunt you with that
My presence will be the salt in your wounds
That you carved in your own skin
And will never grow to scars
Cause I’ll be sure to keep them open
Truth Beyond Mystery 