All she wanted was a hug
A kiss, a warm consoling hand
On any part of her skin
When she told you she longs to no longer live
All she wanted was a few seconds of your time
Not hours, like you assumed
And yes you gave hours of your day to her
Spending time together, having fun
Watching videos, cuddling on the couch
But in this moment
She lost all of herself like the fleeting reflection of a moons full cycle into the new
She knew it would return, but right now there was nothing
Not even a speck of light
And all
She needed was a hug, a kiss
A warm consoling hand
On any part of her skin
But you said you had to work
You don’t have time for this right now
She asked you if she could die
You said no, but you showed her yes
By dismissing her pain, dismissing her clear call for your positive attention
You had to work cause your deadline wouldn’t wait
Wasting all week for the last moment to never make it in time to keep your promises anyway
Maybe she’ll jump your dead line some day
That used to be a life line but you pulled it away.
sadness
Razor
I’ll just sit here
Razor in hand
Broken from the plastic
The sharp line asking me
When will we rip open
My skin again
I’ll just sit here
Razor in place
Smoking my sense away
Because I anticipate regret
But can find no peace
Or protection
I’ll just sit here
Until either I
Or this razor
Will win
Indifference
I sleep in the shadow of my tears
Painted by the moon on my eyelids
Carved by the rising sun on my cheeks
Dried and hardened to stone threads
Of solemn sorrow and sadness
Grown attached to my skin like scars
Like the ripened wounds on my wrist
From over the years
You were once not like this
I was once stronger
Your kindness withered like my trust
My faith decayed by your indifference
Being there
There’s something so devastating
about their inner broken sadness
of someone who I attribute
most of my happiness to
A feeling so powerless
seeing them helplessly hopeless
with no surge of optimism
seeming to reach through
What can I do?
I know nothing
because I’ve been there myself
all that really helps, is offering to help
Concern and care
are more important
than merely
Being there
Be greatness that chose beginning, to become liberty.
I have only sadness
To carry me through
This darkened night
That chose.
To last a lifetime
Through me
I feel betrayed by
My own senses
By what I didn’t
Or what I might
Confused to say the least
I remember hardly
What I wanted or
Who I used to be
I suppose I also don’t
Know what lays next
Or who I’m supposed
To become.
I guess it’s up to me
Who ever that would be
Carefully separated
But chaotic in creation
Undermining my own
Greatness.
Over an urge
To persuade myself
Into dauntlessness
I have to be alone
Realizing every
Now and then, again
I don’t want to live
In loneliness
Or any kind of confinement
Any shape of concession
Any form of censorship
I crave freedom
Seeking liberation
From whatever
I cage myself in
Could quite possibly
Be…
My real mission
Here, in this life
At the very littlest
Beginning.
If any other
Are only additions to a truer essence of
What qualifies to define as my own
Liberty.
The Oceans That I Drown Myself In
I’m filled with tears
That I cannot cry
Despite the oceans
That I drown myself in
Of fear and sadness
That I already shed
I feel more powerful
In my powerlessness
Than I feel in power
I feel more hopeful
In my hopelessness
Than I feel in hope
I’m full of frustration
That I cannot scream
Forsaken the will
That I had to try
Over my voice
That I lost in vain
I feel less strong
In my strength
Than I feel in my stride
I feel less proud
In my perseverance
Than I feel in my pride
.Love/Hate.
The most common mistake people tend to make, is assuming that the opposite of love is hate. That you either love or hate someone, while actually, both notions exist simultaneously, in the same space, at the same time.
When you don’t have love in your life, you don’t necessarily have hate instead. What you do have, when you don’t have love…is silence, solitude and fear.
Fear of being left out, fear of living or dying alone, fear of not being remembered or seen or heard. No one to talk to, nobody to rely on, no sheltering arms around you, no shoulder to cry on, no special person to share all that you value. Silence in your soul and emptiness in your heart.
From this silence, solitude and fear…this lack of love, we actually have a choice we can make. We choose..
either hate; including hurt, anger and sadness, following each other up like chackles in a chain, on a downward spiral of negativity, of hating everything and everyone, especially ourselves..
or love; opening doors to hope, faith and happiness, equally following each other up like steps to a stairs, up to whatever we aspire to reach or become, believing in the good of life and being receptive for all the positivity of luck..
Two seperate paths with many intersections..
Love or Hate. It’s upto you.
Truth Beyond Mystery 