Only Hope.

So many losses
Remembering the hurt
I don’t know how to recognize myself
Memories covered up in dirt
I have no feeling left
It all fell apart
My soul is drowning in this deep liquid
Bleeding out my heart
I peel of my skin like a furr coat
There is more emptiness underneath
Every layer is all the same
It never comes together in any sense

No reason, no purpose
No goal and no mercy
Unresponsive to relativity
Intolerant to patience
Rebellious towards gravity
Ignorant yet persuasive

It’s like a never ending story
But in lack of beginning
Now that I’m in it
I can not get out
It revolves around me
Like a bubble of soap
Incomprehensive water
Collecting and kept in captivity
Disobediant but servile
Destructing freedom for felicity
There is no safety
Only hope.


Mystery to me

Purple skies and lightning striking remind me of why I met you
You luminate my mind and soften my heart with all that you are
My senses are covered by your sweetness through whatever I fall into
When I’m in your presence and you shine over me like my very own star

Being alive never felt so purposed and meaningful
Being aware was never before so necessary for me
Being fearless causes me to enjoy how I’m free to fall
Being honest and open makes it all so effortless to see

I’ve never in my life believed so truly in one essence
Because of that I feel justified in knowing that it’s real
I preciously cherish each and every of your lessons
You are to me a mystery awaiting for me to reveal


I try to reach out and hold you right there
But you’re just thick water and thin air
Flowing hard and whistling softly
I recognize the melody
But it gets flushed away by your flood
Don’t want to reset the memory
Cause you’re yet part of my blood
Could you just slow down to disappear
And let me make it more clear

That this goes deeper than a feeling
This is far more certain than faith
It’s a disease that offers healing
A part of love we like to hate
Because we can’t control how it goes
There is no real sound in echoes
The only thing we got is here and now

You and me
Whatever comes next
Or after that
Is as we choose it to be

Epic Moments

Epic moments
Ancient memories
They have a way of coming
Always back to me
When I watch the shades
In a dark night outside
Or when I watch the sun fade
Into the water so bright
Then I realise how my heart
Is filled with so much
Love and care, but torn apart
By edges of broken trust
Whatever may heal
Leaves scars
Things I will always feel
Nomatter how far
Or long ago they might have been
My eyes can’t keep up
With all the ugliness I’ve seen
And been through non stop
They say life is tough
And nomatter how you try
It seems never enough
Nonetheless I’ll get by
And breathe through another day
Find another chance
Create my own space and way
To then again
Fall and fail
But never to quit
Until my last exhale
Until my fire is unlit
I will keep making memories
To learn from and leave behind
I will remember every piece
Every treasure that I find

.the darkside of the sun.

what do you know about
the dark side of the sun
hidden beneath a heat of clouds
I promise you that no one
has ever been there or seen that
too hard, too hot, too far, too bad
you wouldn’t even think to care to know
because you will never be able to go
don’t think you should or would even want
but I know you’re challenged by
the fact that it has never been done
but the further you try to fly
the deeper you allow yourself to fall
no reasons for how or why
cause don’t we all
just love the thought of danger
the risk of meeting a stranger
but of course to never trust
cause we’re just addicted to the rush
and all that could happen
what should not but probably will
how much we let in
and enjoy the pieces of ourselves to spill
to never recollect
never care what’s next
and never come back to it
never let show
our purest or truest
it’s a waste, a shame
worth for nothing to know
but still we are the same
and you do it just like me
innocent covers to blow
will it ever change?
cause those sad games
give breathing flavor
and only to win time
we do each other a favor
pretending to seek
never caring to find
until that darkside meets
and we roll back into our minds
then it’s history within a week
those memories never to repeat
happy we will never become
not like this
but why care over the outcome
when the real bliss
of these rays of sun
always overshine the dark side
why care what’s on the inside
if we keep it on the surface
nothing can ever hurt us


memories no longer matter
everything i now do
is only for the better
with or without you

i no longer care
or wait to expect for
you to be there
i’m looking for more

than you could ever give
i have more of me
than you allow me to live
we will never be

like we never really were
i’m over us
done with who you are
so obvious

manipulating me into
guilt and insecurity
this love wasn’t true
nothing like trust or purity

and now you’re losing
i’m taking back control
i’m not for your amusement
in my fate lays a greater role


i’m rising to the sky
blending with the blue
levitating up high
not ever thinking of you

cause you don’t exist
in the way i thought you would
no more temptation to resist
no longer caring for the good

just try to hold my own
any and only way i know how
is by dealing with it alone
there’s no space for you now

i’m letting go all anger and hate
and everything that used to hurt
for turning back time it’s too late
and above all it’s not even worth

the trouble and the endless energy
got other things to focus on
things that stimulate and benefit me
get me forward to what i want

seeking and striving for growth
cut loose all strings that hold me back
better and easier for us both
nothing will throw me again off track


Don’t take me for a challenge.. You can never win..
Because it’s not a game
When the time comes, that you realize this..
Tell me the same

Convince me it’s true
Cause I can’t seperate manipulation from you
You’re intentions never shine through
Can’t trust, can’t drop my guard
The walls cover all except my eyes
So whatever it is you’re lookin for
Whatever lays behind this disguise
That is where you’ll find
That is where you can make me blind
And if you have to take control
Do it first before the fall

.daydreams & nightmares.

Eyes filled with rays of sunlight
I dream away about illusions of love
The promise of nomore violent fights
Impossible to get in reach of

Believing makes the mind grow
To immeasurable proportions
What you see, and want, and know
Can cause for internal distortion

The thing I’m searching for
Unwillingly but still sure
Does not exist
Like the care, I thought to share
Or see in your eyes before
It’s an unclear mist
That covers the senses
Like living in daydreams
When the mind comprehenses
That nothing is what it seems
But the heart has hope
And is easy to influence
No matter how thin the rope
Love lets you hang on your essence
Making you believe you can cope
Pushing you out of balance

And when you fall
You never hit ground
You never recall
Why you were up there at all
And in every thing you do
You get flushed by flashbacks
Of a past full of scratches and cracks
Yet never the less
You never surpress
Any of those nightmares
They control your ego
The reason for all your cares
Your worries so lethal

I never believed in love
Until i fell for its lies
Together with all the above
Plus some heartpain and cries
Nights when sleeping is irrelevant
Begin and end with these
Daydreams and nightmares so innocent
But they slaughter every piece
Of ignorance
And inner peace

Love is overrated..

Love is overrated
It does not solve everything
It destroys more than its made of
Like breaking after entering
Burn the building to the ground
Swallow the ashes and choke on it
Learn to let go what doesn’t count
Forget the sacrifices you both offered

Memories, both good and bad
Mean less than nothing
And should be forgotten
No loss of pride in feeling sad
Our cries hide behind raindrops
And tears will dry by sunshine
Breathe on until the pain stops
And keep your heart close to your mind

Leave the past for the history books
Grow towards a future that you decide today
Don’t worry about the time and difficulty it took
Focus on your own power and walk away

Because love may come
But don’t let it change you
It should’nt control your person
Or what you go and went through

And then love may go
But remember to know
That everything happens
Exactly as it has to
There are no reasons or patterns
So start every day as new

And remind yourself to remember
That coincidence doesn’t exist
There is no more to it
Than what it really is

Don’t fear for jealousy or hatred
The worst things are often also the greatest
Don’t try to make unworthy feelings sacred
Cause truth is, love is overrated ; )