full moon is on the rise
but the vessel it’s to fill
has run empty
nothing remains or
is left to reach out for
all the things I dreamt to be
every aching part of me
is dripping down a drain
pulsing from a vein
lost in a bottomless hole
who knows where it leads to
or where it goes
once it escapes the bubble of light
the blackness of a hurting heart
left in solitude to overanalyse
it only just might
live and stand high
or die and fall apart
by the touch of who once owned it
then turned away and stoned it
wounds might heal
time may resolve
but scars don’t disappear
moments like these take their toll
like a glass shattered on the floor
glue it back together
and all you’ll see is cracks
crumble up a paper
can you ever again get it flat
without the lines showing through?
luckily I’m a diamond
if only in the rough
my sharp edges define me
to protect me against what’s tough
you couldn’t break or nevermind me
but you can lock me up
although a golden cage will never outshine me
sometimes it’s better to have enough
than to lose to love
empty
.This Time.
This time will be different. This time I’m going as a prisoner of a heart I nolonger own, but still claim to have. This time I go as a disbeliever of the love I never received, perhaps not deserved, but always felt.
This time I’m lost, drained and drowning.
This time I’m broken, empty and scarred.
This time I’m hurt and betrayed, abandoned and left to die.
Left without goodbye.
This time I’m not turning back, nor want I to be turned back for. This time I won’t care, nor want I to be cared for. This time it’s over. And all times to come, I will refuse, to go over it again.
Trainwrecks of Thoughts
take my breath away
cause it hurts and aches
and I don’t care for it anymore
I want to be more than before
you should keep your distance
cause in an instant
I can turn violent on you
even though I don’t want to
and I don’t deal with regret
it’s a selfish & senseless act
and I hate a powerless feeling
cause it’s doesn’t provide healing
I just want my lungs gone
with my heart I’m also done
I have no need for it
will live solely by courage
and fed by frustration
a severe separation
of the morbid mind
where there is no flaw to find
I long so long for peace
but am bound by this disease
these trainwrecks of thoughts
restraining from what I ought
still my movements are empty
and your hatred only tempts me
to stack up strength
and reach for revenge
fear for what will follow
the words you read are hollow
but the sensation it gives you
is worse than you can live through
Truth Beyond Mystery 