My heart is too widely open
I could be crouched down with a blade pressed to my skin
But if someone would then and there need me, I’d forget all the hate and hurt, just for them, temporarily
To have it waiting for me when I return to myself
I will still, help, love, care
Even if I can’t do any of those for myself
My heart is too widely open
But the love flows one way
Because I don’t know how to receive
I’m not blaming anyone else
It’s not self pity either
Just a reality I either have to get used to
Or find a way to change
But what makes me think, that after 15 years of trying
Now I will succeed?
hatred
Love is overrated..
Love is overrated
It does not solve everything
It destroys more than its made of
Like breaking after entering
Burn the building to the ground
Swallow the ashes and choke on it
Learn to let go what doesn’t count
Forget the sacrifices you both offered
Memories, both good and bad
Mean less than nothing
And should be forgotten
No loss of pride in feeling sad
Our cries hide behind raindrops
And tears will dry by sunshine
Breathe on until the pain stops
And keep your heart close to your mind
Leave the past for the history books
Grow towards a future that you decide today
Don’t worry about the time and difficulty it took
Focus on your own power and walk away
Because love may come
But don’t let it change you
It should’nt control your person
Or what you go and went through
And then love may go
But remember to know
That everything happens
Exactly as it has to
There are no reasons or patterns
So start every day as new
And remind yourself to remember
That coincidence doesn’t exist
There is no more to it
Than what it really is
Don’t fear for jealousy or hatred
The worst things are often also the greatest
Don’t try to make unworthy feelings sacred
Cause truth is, love is overrated ; )
Broken Core
Filled with flames of anger
Agressively aggitated and furious
A heart so hurt it lost purpose
A soul so scarred and tangled
It’s now unrecognisable
Though aware the disguise would once fall
We kept on pretending to try
You continuously neglecting my cries
I constantly defending your lies
But what does one do when..
Your worst enemy is the one you are
What is there to know when..
Your own mind speaks nothing but hatred
Where can one go when..
Your own hands tore up the road that you follow
Where is one to hide when..
Your own feet crushed the roof above you
When you have no one…
to trust or believe in?
When even your own self…
is out to take you down?
How do you manage?
To what can one hold on?
I was taught to trust in love
But sadly enough
Just the wrong sort of
The love I clung to
Was a selfish prideful shimmer
Merely an image
Of what I wanted so badly to have
No reality, no truth at all
Just the wish telling the tale
A broken core to follow the fall
But something’s leaking from the cracks
Flowing fastly, building up in stacks
It’s a sweet fluid
Soft and thick and dark
It has a taste of home in it
Like hitting something sharp
It tells me where to go now
It tells me not to stop
Leave behind all the baggage I’ve been carrying
And get ahead with what I’ve got
Even if it’s not much
Nothing more than my body, mind and soul
Had to leave my heart behind
It was too heavy and my bag was full
Salt
It burns in my chest
I don’t know how to cry anymore
Or how to feel what I felt last
I’ve lost love before
But I never feared I’d miss violence
Cause that’s what you imply
You have a side so evil
And I’m not exactly in my right mind
Together we’re more than lethal
But it’s the only real thing
That I’ve ever known
I can’t express in words
How this hurt feels
How I hate that I could not defend
Myself again
Against your angry hands
Not because I don’t love myself
But because you are stronger always
I wish I could have done something
To not let my weakness win
But fighting you is a sign
Of being suicidal
And I want to live now more than ever
Because you took my freedom
And my safety and my trust and all I had
You tore it apart
Because in your thoughts
I don’t deserve to have anything
On purpose you cursed me
With what you call love and so on
You wouldn’t leave or let me run
Forcing me to swallow your hatred
And take from me what’s sacred
My innocense and pride
Glad to say I’m still alive
You couldn’t take from me
What you want and miss now so bad
>My love, my heart you’ll never have
And I will haunt you with that
My presence will be the salt in your wounds
That you carved in your own skin
And will never grow to scars
Cause I’ll be sure to keep them open
Trainwrecks of Thoughts
take my breath away
cause it hurts and aches
and I don’t care for it anymore
I want to be more than before
you should keep your distance
cause in an instant
I can turn violent on you
even though I don’t want to
and I don’t deal with regret
it’s a selfish & senseless act
and I hate a powerless feeling
cause it’s doesn’t provide healing
I just want my lungs gone
with my heart I’m also done
I have no need for it
will live solely by courage
and fed by frustration
a severe separation
of the morbid mind
where there is no flaw to find
I long so long for peace
but am bound by this disease
these trainwrecks of thoughts
restraining from what I ought
still my movements are empty
and your hatred only tempts me
to stack up strength
and reach for revenge
fear for what will follow
the words you read are hollow
but the sensation it gives you
is worse than you can live through
Truth Beyond Mystery 