Sitting in the pale winter sun
On a bench by the water
I close my eyes
Letting the light illuminate my skin
I imagine myself
On my beloved island
Where the mosquitoes never stop hovering on me
And the smells of life are equally as fondly
To caress me in a warmth otherwise unknown
While the calm breeze on the sea
Tickles my senses with the saltiness
That resemble the tears of my life
This sun of cold shine, walks with me
Until darkness returns once more
Under my feet up to the roots of my hair
And I dream again, of where I for long
Belong to be
poetry
Surrounded by Silence
She acts stronger than she is
She lasts longer than she cares
She looks open but resides rather privately
She grows only on her own surrounded by silence
Passive aggressive doesn’t touch her
It molds her, controls her, destroys her
To a beast of no more morals
Containment or pride do not exist
Blind rage of fears and doubts she likes to hate
Can anyone blame her?
If they don’t even know her
Judging is the closest they will ever get allowed to come
Purely because she reaches beyond their general level
Of self reflective darkness
Self induced light
Under performing progress
Over accomplishing bright
She cries louder than thunderstorms
She sinks deeper than the no returns
Of a black holes singularity
She unfolds stacks of complexities
Within a wink of thought
But crashes all her brilliance
For the shadow of what she felt
When she first fell in love
She will unravel you
Before you begin to reveal
To yourself even the rhythm
Of reflections you’ve never rested without
She will narrate you
Beyond annoyance but deeply rooted
In a truth you didn’t know you had internal
Until she plucked it from your brain
To lay it before you on the table
With a pride in her smile
That shines through the rooms in her own darkened mind
Only to admit that it was you who brought it to her
She will always promise you
All her inspiration comes from how she lives
How it happens, how it goes
How she drew it all out while she was born
How every word she writes is a memory
From before she became real
Liquid Love
Love is what it looks like to look at you
My pride I feel is proof enough
Of how pure and precious you are
Which somehow I always was aware of
When my eyes locked the first time
There was no other thought roaming
Than a desire to get to know you
As I saw you I stay ever since in awe
And each day as I grow closer
To understanding your beauty
I sink deeper in a delicate embrace
A liquid love that coats me in thick coverage
All around, soaked through and through
Like ink in my skin, no washing away
Caught on my retina one day
You stayed on my mind
As we connected at first sight
You latched on to my soul easily
Seeping your way into my heart
Daily devouring me with care
On emotion, in spirit, physically
With your love so empowering
How it overwhelms me full of wonder
There’s no will for me to control
Any of myself anymore
All for you it will always be
I don’t remember from before
Who I was prior to you loving me
From above
Every other second
I feel like everything could fall apart
Tragedies that happened
Remain irreversible to the heart
What’s left of promises?
The answer I’m still waiting for
Broken spirit more or less
But faith still blooming forever sure
Like flowers sprouting from clouds of doubt
Still proud with or without solid ground
On how it will unfold or fall
Because nothing at all
I repeat, nothing at all
Could replace any aspect
Of this wonderful, disastrous, magical epic
For the ball is round
It’s you that I found
And embrace every effect
That your beautiful, infectious, angelic being
Has on me
What you’ve done to us
I can’t stop to be
Amazed every day
I am faced to appreciate
How I’m becoming by love
Up and down, around and from above
.Diamond in the Rough.
full moon is on the rise
but the vessel it’s to fill
has run empty
nothing remains or
is left to reach out for
all the things I dreamt to be
every aching part of me
is dripping down a drain
pulsing from a vein
lost in a bottomless hole
who knows where it leads to
or where it goes
once it escapes the bubble of light
the blackness of a hurting heart
left in solitude to overanalyse
it only just might
live and stand high
or die and fall apart
by the touch of who once owned it
then turned away and stoned it
wounds might heal
time may resolve
but scars don’t disappear
moments like these take their toll
like a glass shattered on the floor
glue it back together
and all you’ll see is cracks
crumble up a paper
can you ever again get it flat
without the lines showing through?
luckily I’m a diamond
if only in the rough
my sharp edges define me
to protect me against what’s tough
you couldn’t break or nevermind me
but you can lock me up
although a golden cage will never outshine me
sometimes it’s better to have enough
than to lose to love
Fire.
In the tired tears of solitude and abandonment, I find the grounds that will take me further. They will move underneath my feet, they will carry me like I’m weightless. They will be nurtured by grains of strengthless hope, prideless faith and vainless patience.
The deeper the hole I dig in this nothingness, the larger the pile of dust I collect. All just matter to build a path from, all leading to a way out. The black hole beneath, above and around me gets sucked into oblivion by the fire inside my heart.
Infinite and pure, unmoved and self reliant. It fuels from its own ashes, it breathes its own heat. It burns water to steam, it lights air up to flames, it cracks any rock into sand. Every attempt to extinguish, it diminishes within a heartbeat.
It will be my leading light out of this darkness, it will be the furnace I prepare my food on, it will be the blanket I keep warm under, it will be my weapon against any harm.
I’ll reach the sun, going from cloud to cloud, from sitting by the moon, staring in amazement, blessed by its magical shine and warmth. I will return this fire to its nature and origin, and become a moon myself.
Forever surrounded by and surrounding myself with, the light, love and life that is within this eternal fire. Always in awe of what I once held in my heart to then enjoy from a safe and respectful length of peace.
Pure
Sand in my face, salt in my hair
I left my worries right there
Buried them on the shore
For the oceans to take anywhere
It has no use anymore
To hold on to them or stare
At them endlessly like before
I have so much more
To give and learn and share
Of what I want and need, I’m sure
All I have to do now, is dare
Forget not to breathe, restore
See clearly why and how, I care
And love to the fullest from the core
Because I deserve what and where
I’m going and belong to live for
Nomatter if it’s wrong, right or fair
As long as my intentions are pure
Prophecy
Emphasize what’s meaningless
Regret everything that’s not
Amplify all reason less
There is more that we don’t got
Deny every form of structure
Embrace chaos with all due devotion
Cherish what comes in the future
Time has only one direction for motion
Forgive the ignorant
For they don’t know why you should
Release all sensation
Perception is more idealistic than good
Promise what you forgot
Someone might come back for it
Respond to lust with pride,
to love with innocence
Have faith and believe
Trust hatred to leave
Such as every other emotion
No one controls any of them
We lock them away to be safe
Like an enraged lion in a cage
It has no use to us
To doubt everything we lose
Our voices don’t echo when they scream
Our breath never lasts longer than a minute
To await signals like a prophecy
Is like expecting the moon to come closer
It’s only fading further
Pulling loose for freedom
Fulfilling My Faith
All the love I’ll ever have
Will always be in your possession
For yours to take and keep or leave
Awaiting your affection
To remove all of your worry
I consider my task and duty
Won’t ever allow for a frown
To rest on your face of an angel
Will try to never let you down
As much as I am able
Or am permitted by
The perks of human nature
All I can ever do is try
In the midst of all life’s danger
We can only pray and believe
Learn to trust and achieve
That we deserve what we receive
From loss to sorrow and grief
To love and comfort, relief
We all need someone
Along for carrying this weight
And I want you or no one
To join in fulfilling my faith
Taking me all the way
Up in the clouds
To where paradise is born
Beyond the rainbow rays
With no fear or doubts
Peaceful like the eye of a storm
Beauty like the light of one sun
Among a starless nightsky
I’ll hold your heart high
Treasure it with pride
Stay glued to your side
As long as you want me to
There will only be love flowing
Growing between me and you
I can be so sure without knowing
Because there’s no controlling what’s true
It will just go how it’s supposed to be going
And we can only follow through
With our hands tied to the sky
Our hearts bound together too
The vision of tomorrow in our eyes
Floathing on drops of morning dew
.another illusion.
tears heavy as steel
scratch sharply through my skin
it’s only pain I feel
by futile empty promising
leaving marks across my face
edging scars you won’t erase
everything you said so far
has no truth in it whatsoever
I begin to wonder who you even are
why did I choose you for my forever?
I don’t even know you
who did I give my heart to?
don’t have you at all
as you made it so clear
how dare you make me fall
for something I so much fear
and still you manage
blind for all caused damage
demand me to believe in fairytales
and I should expect it becomes real
I’m just waiting for when it all fails
of which I’m pretty sure it will
cause that always happens
and this is no different
in essence of all life lessons
what I feel is insignificant
to anyone who decides to care
who will then change their mind
before I’m even aware
of what I have lost to find
or can catch up with them there
but I’m already left behind
easy come, simpler gone
and you may claim to know
that you’re not aiming to go
but I’m already alone
you’ve never been with me
we never had the chance
and you’ll never love me like those words
I don’t know why I try actually
talking to dust has more sense
wish I could let you feel how this hurts
but I can’t get in
you’re so inaccessible
I don’t think I’ll ever win
love for me is just impossible
I know now for sure
that ignorance is bliss
cause I can feel it so pure
when I deny knowing all this
and pretend that we can
or even might we will
but in the back of my mind I am
always cautious for the kill
which comes sooner or later
whether you want it or not
you have no say in what fate does
you don’t even have what you think you got
all you are to me now
another illusion that I dreamed of
that I got fooled by somehow
tricked to think it could be love
Truth Beyond Mystery 