.another illusion.

tears heavy as steel
scratch sharply through my skin
it’s only pain I feel
by futile empty promising
leaving marks across my face
edging scars you won’t erase

everything you said so far
has no truth in it whatsoever
I begin to wonder who you even are
why did I choose you for my forever?
I don’t even know you
who did I give my heart to?
don’t have you at all
as you made it so clear
how dare you make me fall
for something I so much fear
and still you manage
blind for all caused damage

demand me to believe in fairytales
and I should expect it becomes real
I’m just waiting for when it all fails
of which I’m pretty sure it will
cause that always happens
and this is no different
in essence of all life lessons
what I feel is insignificant

to anyone who decides to care
who will then change their mind
before I’m even aware
of what I have lost to find
or can catch up with them there
but I’m already left behind
easy come, simpler gone
and you may claim to know
that you’re not aiming to go
but I’m already alone

you’ve never been with me
we never had the chance
and you’ll never love me like those words
I don’t know why I try actually
talking to dust has more sense
wish I could let you feel how this hurts
but I can’t get in
you’re so inaccessible
I don’t think I’ll ever win
love for me is just impossible

I know now for sure
that ignorance is bliss
cause I can feel it so pure
when I deny knowing all this
and pretend that we can
or even might we will
but in the back of my mind I am
always cautious for the kill

which comes sooner or later
whether you want it or not
you have no say in what fate does
you don’t even have what you think you got
all you are to me now
another illusion that I dreamed of
that I got fooled by somehow
tricked to think it could be love

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